What's brown and sticky?

how do you make a baby drink?






put it in a blender

Re: Evil jokes... easily offended don't read

Harsh but still v good

Ahhh...crappy jokes!

Q. What do you call a man in the sea with no arms or legs?











A. Bob

How do u save a macem from drownin. Throw in his wife & kids


What do u call a ethiopian will a big foot

Golf Club

Two whales swimming in the sea, on a girl and one a boy. The girl whale says to the boy whale "isnt that the trailor that killed your mam n dad all thoses years ago???" He notices it is, and asks her if shed like to helkp him get revenge.

They went under the boat, and blew air out of their blow holes, tipping over the boat and plunging all the sailors into the sea. "Quick" says the boy whale...."lets eat them all!!!"

"Not a chance!!" replies the girl whale......"I dont mind doing blow jobs.....but im not up for swallowing seamen!!!"

WRONG....what do you do if you see a mackem drowning....throw in his wife and kids!!!

Just remembered this one..it's a bit long...

There's an Irishman, an Australian, and a Scouser drinking in a bar on Christmas Eve. The Irishman looks over at a man drinking alone in the corner, turns to the other two and says "He looks familiar doesn't he?"

After a bit of talking, they realise it's Jesus sitting there. Seeing as it's Christmas eve, they decide to each buy him a drink. The Irishman buys him a Guiness, the Australian buys a Fosters, and the Scouser a pint of bitter.

Jesus is pleasantly surprised by their generosity, and so after finishing his drinks, walks up to the 3 men. He approaches the Irishman, and touches his hand. The Irishman suddenly shouts out "Wow! The arthritis that I've had for 20 years has gone!"

Jesus then touches the Australian's head, and the Australian shouts out "Wow! The catarachts I've had for 10 years have disappeared!"

Jesus then approaches the Scouser and holds out his hand, when the Scouser jumps back and says "Back off mate, I'm on disability benefits!!"

Thank you...I thought I was stupid when I read his joke :spangled:

Two nuns in a van driving down the motorway and a vampire jumps on the bonnet of their car.

"Show him youre cross!!!" shouts the nun who is driving.........

So the other nun sticks her head out the window and shouts...."GET OFF OUR FUCKING VAN YOU STUPID C UNT!!!"

What's the best thing about fucking twenty-four year olds?

There's twenty of them

(One for Tom)

Visit gurn sick jokes for a laff... im not posting them cos i'll get wrong!

What do you get if you cross an african child with an alien?

Nee Tea!!

What's big, red and eats rocks?

A big red rock eater!

Jewish boy goes up to dad and says, "Dad, can I have 50p?"
The dad replies, "20p, what do you want 10p for?"

it's gunna kick off....

Well isn't everyone screaming out for controversial posts and threads

WHAT do you call a man with a rubber toe who has had his motor stolen?

Roberto Carlos!



A WOMAN gets home from work one day, walks into the lounge and sees her husband sitting on the couch with a duck on his lap.

He looks up and says: "Look, this is the pig I have been sleeping with".

"That's not a pig," she screams, to which he replies: "I was talking to the duck!"

a dyslexic man walks into a bra

....a seal walks into a club...

:laugh:

My Joke >>>

An Irish man and a geordie in newcastle and the irish man says to the Geordie i keep getting jumped on because i'm Irish is there anything i can do to stop this keep happening... so the geordie stops and thinks
"Hmmmmmmm, let me see .... ok then go in to that shop and ask if ya can have a pack of 10 Lambert n that"

So the irish man goes in and says
"Can i have a pack of 10 Lambert n that"

And the bloke behind the counter says
"Are yee irish?".......

and the irish man all fustrated says
"arhhh how can you tell?"

And the shop keeper answered
"Coz this is a fuckin fish shop not a Newsagent.

heehe ! :laugh:

Urgh