What's brown and sticky?

i was mentally scarred

you're a nutter!!

as i remembe rrightly u also used to have a thnig bout running up & down stairs repeatedley, just for the crack!

the crack being the sound your leg makes as you fall off the seccond step.....? or is that just what would happen if i tried to do this??

and how was that? please elaborate

lol, coz i was holding the camera as people were rolling along walls, falling over beds, and sliding down the stairs

think that was just u...the rest wudn't risk it in case they got stuck & cudn't make it so probs sent u down 1st to make sure that it was ok & then u fell....oooh this is bad!

fantastic it was all my doing then?

Two monkeys sat in a bath. One monkey says "OOH EEH OOH AAH AAH". Other monkey shouts "CHRIST YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS FECKING HOT!"

Why did the girl fall off the swing?


she had no arms


What's black and white and eats like a horse



A Zebra

What's brown and eats like a horse?



A muddy zebra



I stupid jokes......good work everyone

oh i give in...

and egg, a sausage and a bit of bacon in a frying pan. the egg says to the sausage "phew! it's hot in here!" and the sausage turns to the bit of bacon and says "fuck me, a talking egg!"

boom boom tish.

drink large amounts of alcohol - makes it much better.

a banana and a vibrator are sitting together..
the banana turns and says " i dont know what your shaking for...shes gonna eat me!"



have you heard about the magic tractor?

it went up the road and turned into a field

why didnt the dog eat it's dinner?



Because it was dead


Why didnt the cat eat it's dinner?


Because it was nailed to the floor


What's funnier than a dead baby?


A dead baby in a clown suit

Here's a nasty one

What do you do after you've had a baby?

Pull its nappy back up

Dad, why do I keep walking in circles??

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

Since we are all telling ickle jokes

Victoria Beckham decides to go out and takes David's car while out she knocks into a fence and dints the front.

When she takes a look she realised she must get this fixed before David see's it. She takes it to a garage to get it seen to and the Mechanic say:

' This can be easily sorted when you get home turn the car off and let the enginee cool then blow up the exhaust. '

Victoria: ' how wil lthis work'

Mechanic: ' It will push the dent out'

Vic: OK then

She goes home and does as the man says let the car cool and starts blowing down the exhast While doing so david comes home

Vic: David your home early you were not ment to see this...Im sorry.

David: ' Victoria what u doing'

Vic: ' The mechanic sid if I blow down the exhast it will blow the dint out'

David: ' Victoria you dumb cow this will not work'

Vic: 'why?'

David: ' You need to shut the windows fisrt, tehre all open'

Evil jokes... easily offended don't read

Q: What is red and white and squirms in the corner?
A: Dead Baby playing with razor blades.
Q: What is red, white and green and sits in a corner?
A: Same baby 3 weeks later.

Q: What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: A baby with slashed floaties.

Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman on a children's playground!

Q: What's blue and knocks on glass?
A: A baby in a fish tank.

Q: How do you get 10 babies into a Tupperware bowl?
A: Use a blender.
Q: How do you get it out?
A: With a straw!

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
A: You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.

Q: What's red, sits in the corner, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

Q: What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
A: Twins in an acid bath.

Q: What's better than tying babies to your bumper and crashing?
A: Tying them to your tires and skidding.

Re: Evil jokes... easily offended don't read

and to think i always thought you were such a nice lad!

Re: Re: Evil jokes... easily offended don't read

:evil: :evil: :evil:

Harsh but