What's brown and sticky?

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!!






My new favourite joke

whilst were on with stupid jokes..


Man walks into a pub...








Ow!!

hahah my type of humour!!!!!

englishman, irishman and scotsman walk into a bar...

aw aw aw!!!!!

...........

englishman irishman and scotsman walk into a bar..

english man gets a pint...
...scotsman gets a pint...

...irishman has forgot his wallet

..........

knock knock

*whos there?*

Nee 1!




...

I made em myself

wonder about ppl like u lot!
lol! xx

English, Irishman and a Scotsman working on scaffolding on a building site.

English opens his sandwich box and says, "I`m fucking sick of this, for as long as I can remember i`ve had tuna sandwiches, if I have tuna sandwiches again tomorrow i`m gonna throw meself off here"

Scotsman opens his sandwich box and says, "I`m fucking sick of this, for as long as I can remember i`ve had cheese sandwiches, if I have cheese sandwiches again tomorrow i`m gonna throw meself off here"

Irishman opens his sandwich box and says, "I`m fucking sick of this, for as long as I can remember i`ve had ham sandwiches, if I have ham sandwiches again tomorrow i`m gonna throw meself off here"

So the next day comes and they all get together to open their sandwiches. The Englishman opens his first and find tuna sandwiches, thats its guys, im away. He throws himself off the scaffolding and dies instantly. Next the Scotsman opens his and finds cheese sandwiches, thats its guys, im away. He throws himself off the scaffolding and dies instantly. Then left by himself, the Irishman opens his and finds ham sandwiches, thats its, im away. He throws himself off the scaffolding and dies instantly.

One week later at the funerals, the 3 wifes are stood together, "I cant understand, he said he loved those tuna sandwiches" said the Englishmans wife.
"I know, i thought my man also loved his cheese sandwiches" says the Scotsmans wife.
Then follows the Irishmans wife, "I really dont understand, Paddy always made his own sandwiches!!"

another daft joke

A hole got pot through the local nudist camp. The police are going to look in to it.

What do you get hanging from orange trees??

Sore arms!


Two cows standing in a field...one says "mooo", the other says....

.....you bastard i was guna say that!!



Whats Mary short for??

Shes got little legs!

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

Pregnant

(awaits backlash)

whats brown and runny?












linford christie

Not Mary, ET

Random Jokes there but lol

I cant think of any????

Theres two sausages sitting in a pan,

one says 'its hot in here'

the other one says "fuckin hell a talking sausage"

Thank Eddie Murphy for this one

There's a bear and a rabbit taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says:

"Do you have the problem of shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit replies:

"No"

The bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his arse with him

I'm pretty sure that should be a bar, not a pub

I like that one

nope.....Mary

A dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

What did the man with two left feet buy??

Flip Flips.