Monkey and the Tiger One day a Tiger is walking through the jungle mindin his own business when all of a sudden something smacks him in the back of the head! So the tiger quickly turns round to see a coconut lying on the floor. Then he hears a laughing and looks up into a tree and sees a Monkey sitting there pissing himself laughing. Angry at this the tiger says 'right ya little cunt when i get a hold of you am gonna fuck ya shit right up!' The Monkey knowing hes safe fucks off through the trees. The following day the Tiger is walking through the same part of the jungle and he suddenly gets twatted on the back of the head again. He turns around to see a coconut lying there and the same Monkey in the same tree pissing himself laughing again! The tiger totally pissed off now says 'you ya little cunt! I told you yesterday ya little mutherfucker if i get a hold of ya am gonna fuck you up!' The monkey simply replies 'fuck off' then swings away through the jungle. The next day the monkey is back in the same tree waiting for the tiger again. But theres no tiger. After waiting about 15 mins and still no tiger the monkey decides to go down to the path for a look. all of a sudden the tiger jumps out of a bush and grabs the monkey. 'Right ya little bastard av got ya now!' says the tiger 'seein as though am a fair bloke am gonna give ya a choice. Am either gonna bite ya tail off or ya head. Which do you want?' The monkey thinks for a while and replies 'head'. The tiger baffled by his choice says 'are you mad? if a bite ya head off you'll be dead.' The Monkey replies 'yeah, but if ya bite ma tail off i'll look like Peter Reid!' SMB's
