jokes thread

What u call Vanessa Feltz as a bridesmaid

Easter Egg with Legs

thats the funniest ever m8! well done!

ah come on it aint that bad

leaves a nice mental image....

vanessa feltz covered in chocolate... ..





:groovy:

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!





Q: What is the definition of cheeky?

A: Pissing through your next-door neighbor's letter box, then a few minutes later ringing their doorbell and asking how far it went!

lol

Why don't chickens wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their faces!

What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?

It's ass.

some absolute belters in this thread, totally cheered my friday afternoon up

one more to add.......

First, read the woman's diary then scroll down to read the bloke's diary...



Girl's Diary

Sunday 11th May 2003

Saw him in the evening and he was acting strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so I thought it might be that.

the bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quiet.

He was very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or

what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong. He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in; he hesitated, but followed.

I asked him again if there was something the matter, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was

going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile.

He didn't follow me up, but later he did and I was surprised when we made love. He seemed distant and a bit cold and I started to think that he was going to

leave me and that he had found someone else. I cried myself to sleep.



Bloke's Diary

Sunday 11th May 2003.

My football team was relegated today. Gutted.

Got a shag though.