Geordie vs mackem vs boro jokes

Discussion in 'Fun Stuff' started by wallyjumblat, Jun 2, 2006.

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  1. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    Geordie vs mackem vs boro jokes

    add all you want in !

    A Man is walking through a park in Newcastle one day, when he hears a child screaming. To his horror he sees a rottweiller attacking a small boy.
    Without a second thought the man dives onto the dog and a monumental battle begins.

    Teh man gets bitten and clawed to within an inch of his life but somehow manages to pull the dog off the child, with the last ounce of strength he strangles the ferocious beast.

    A man with a camera around his neck rushes over to the bloody scene.

    "I'm a report with the Newcastle Chronicle and that is teh bravest deed i have ever seen. I can jst see the front page now - GEORDIE HERO SAVES CHILD FROM CERTAIN DEATH"

    "That's very kind of you replies the hero - but I'm not a Geordie - I'm a Mackem"

    The reported thinks for a while and replies

    "That's alright - You'll still make the headlines MACKEM B*****D KILLS FAMILY PET"
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  3. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    Q: How do you know a Sunderland fan has burgled your house?
    A: The bin is empty and the cat is pregnant.
  4. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    Q: What has a Smoggy lass and an ice hockey goalkeeper got in common?
    A: They both change their pads after three periods!
  5. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    A Geordie girl, a girl from Sunderland and a West Indian girl all give birth to boys at the same time in the same hospital. However, the nurses get the babies mixed up.

    To sort it out they decide to ask the dads to pick their own child. They ask the Geordie first but he picks the black baby. The nurses argue with him that the baby can't possibly be his, but he replies, "I know that! One of the other two could be a Mackem and it just isn't worth the risk.
  6. Guest

    Q: What's the difference between a Mackem Lass and a Kit Kat?

    A: You can only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat.
  7. Ayatollah Terry

    Ayatollah Terry Registered User

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    The Geordie boys couldn't watch the bill
    Instead we watched Boro lose four nil
  8. Smog

    Smog Registered User

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    why wasnt jesus born in sunderland?

    cos they couldnt find 3 wise men and a virgin!
  9. Guest

    :lol: quality
  10. Alexander

    Alexander Registered User

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    all three are shit and come bottom of anything
  11. culks

    culks Registered User

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    What's the ideal weight for a Newcastle supporter?

    3 pounds...that's including the Urn.
  12. Lee

    Lee original gowans artwork

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: best one so far
  13. Jess C

    Jess C Tookie

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    I liked the first one the best! :lol: :lol: :lol: @ "ferocious beast"
  14. Andy M

    Andy M God is Ginger!

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    Carlsberg don't do relegation. But if they did, they'd probably do Sunderland.
  15. psycaholic

    psycaholic Registered User

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    just behind you he he

    :king: :lol: :king: :lol: :king:
  16. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    Q: What is the difference between a Mackem lass and a pit bull?






    A: Lipstick
  17. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    Q: What's the difference between a Mackem lass and a bowling ball?



    A: None they both get fingered, roll down the gutter and come back for more.
  18. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    Thieves broke into the Stadium of S***e trophy room last night and stole the entire contents.


    Police are looking for a 50 foot red and white stripy carpet. :D
  19. Ness

    Ness Registered User

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    Whats the difference between a mackem lass and a walrus?



    One's got whiskers and smells of fish, the other one lives in the sea.
  20. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    Two Sunderland fans are walking along. One of them picks up a mirror, looks in it, and says
    "Hey, I know that bloke"
    The second one picks it up and says "Of course you do, you thick twat - its me!"
  21. wallyjumblat

    wallyjumblat Registered User

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    Q How many Mackem jokes are there on this thread










    A Only 2, the rest are all true stories.
    :D :wink:

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