Choose 15 & 19 point seasons. Choose your club captain smashing cars in a city centre. Choose your players living in Newcastle. Choose racially abusing Darren Bent's mam. Choose losing your club record signing to Al-Ain on loan. Choose signing NUFC cast-offs. Choose glassing your chairman in a restaurant. Choose 1 home win against Newcastle in 18+ years. Choose Shola Ameobi scoring more goals in Europe than Sunderland in their history. Choose John Humble assisting Peter Sutcliffe in the 70s. Choose calling a team full of "Championship plodders" and losing 5-1 to them. Choose spitting on Niall Quinn. Choose chanting "Sunderland are white" at Olivier Bernard. Choose their most successful manager in recent times being a Mag. Choose not buying sugar puffs because of Keegan. Choose laughing at Newcastle signing Mike Williamson then watching him captain them in Europe seasons later. Choose saying Newcastle are the next Leeds Utd then watching them qualify for Europe seasons later. Choose calling Ashley a mackem agent then watching him qualify for Europe seasons later. Choose paying for Papiss Cisse's flight. Choose crying on TV when Millwall knock them out of a cup semi-final. Choose Howard Wilkinson. Choose Mick McCarthy. Choose thinking Sessegnon is better than Ben Arfa. Choose Milton Nunez Choose paying £10m for Tore Andre Flo Choose Jeff Whitley Choose walking out at a derby 3-0 down at half time. Choose losing to Ryan Taylor. Choose losing to Shola Ameobi. Choose losing to Kevin Nolan. Choose losing to Alan Shearer. Choose losing to Nolberto Solano. Choose losing to Emre. Choose losing to Scott Sellars. Choose losing to Liam O'Brien. Choose losing to Albert Luque. Choose fewer amounts of major trophies to Newcastle. Choose thinking you made Danny Welbeck. Choose assaulting Newcastle's goalkeeper on the pitch. Choose fans celebrating on the pitch to an equaliser. Choose starting a rumour saying Steed Malbranque's son has cancer. Choose starting a rumour saying Titus Bramble has died in a car crash. Choose Younes Kaboul saying he wouldn't sign for Sunderland even "if there was an earthquake". Choose selling your players to Stoke then watching them reach Europe and a cup final. Choose signing over 30 year old injury prone players from Man Utd on 5 year contracts. Choose David Vaughan's hilarious own goal vs. Everton. Choose scoring 4 goals in 1 match yet losing 3-1 at home to Charlton. Choose thinking David Bellion was the next big thing. Choose thinking Lee Cattermole is good enough for England. Choose saying the Mags are living in the past then celebrating Coventry's relegation. Choose racially abusing Nufc players on twitter. Choose saying Steve Bruce is one of us, then hounding him out for being a fat Geordie bastard. Choose hating Newcastle but shopping in Eldon Square. Choose smearing shit in St James' toilets then saying you're the classier club. Choose thinking you always beat Newcastle 2-1. Choose saying "A mag at work reckons" then making up a story. Choose reaching the Fa Cup quarter final and booking trains and hotels for the final. Choose accusing Mags of being delusional then putting flyers on cars for the cup final. Choose having a statue outside your ground of a person who played over 260 times for Nufc as well as winning the Fa cup with them. Choose using photos of Gateshead to advertise Sunderland as a possible World Cup 2018 venue. Choose thinking Shearer is responsible for Sunderland being last on MOTD. Choose The Glass Center as your main city attraction. Choose singing songs about Bobby Robson nearly being dead. Choose saying Newcastle only existed from 1992 then reminding us we've won nowt since 1969. Choose calling Niall Quinn a Sunderland leged - 203 games, 61 goals. Choose club legend Kevin Ball relegating you as manager. Choose laughing at Newcastle having Titus Bramble. Then signing Titus Bramble. Choose pissing on graveyards. Choose saying Bruce set the 2011 transfer window alight, then needing a squad overhaul in 2012. Choose mentioning beating Newcastle 9-1 in 1908, Newcastle winning the league in 1908. Choose saying there wasn't much to choose between the 2 teams last season, despite Newcastle being 20 points and 8 places ahead. Choose the Stadium of Lights highest attendance being for Take That and Coldplay. Choose Sunderland chairman Tom Cowie in the 1980s saying he wishes the clubs fans were like Newcastle's. Choose not seeing your team beat Barcelona in the Champions League. Choose not taking 15,000 to the San Siro in Milan for the Champions League. Choose saying Niall Quinn is a club legend, and Quinn saying "i don't look out for Sunderland's results anymore." Choose calling Mags fickle bastards but now hating Darren B£nt. Choose saying FTM at the end of every sentence then saying you're not obsessed. Choose 2 Sunderland fans queuing for the new shirt a week early then saying "The Mags dont do this" Choose saying youre lightyears ahead of nufc then finishing 20 points behind them. Choose your own player leaving the club, then him going on twitter to say they're a shit club with shit fans. Choose Connor Whickhams dog going missing in Darras Hall.