Was reading through that this morning. Brilliant! "It is with great sadness that this morning I must inform you that the mint green ford focus has been poo'd on by a bird. I have had a quick look around the neighbourhood and there was 2-3 birds that looked a bit guilty, I have issued them with verbal warnings but on this occasion I am not prepared to perform DNA testing."
"The alloys on this MINT GREEN (it’s not blue or black or red or any other colour, deal with the fact that its mint green to avoid disappointment. If you thought maybe it was silver but the sunshine in the photos made it look a bit green you were wrong)"
If @Rossy was ever to go into business as a used car salesman, I'd expect his patter to be along these lines
