Those situations where you think, "god I'm a fucking tit"

Those situations where you think, "god I'm a fucking tit"

8.57am and I'm peddling to work on my bike down the country roads. Speedo is peaking at about 24mph and off I go round a corner, over some dried-hard muddy skidmarks made by tracktors only to start skidding all over the place and go belting sideways into a grassy bank and face first into a load of nettles.

I arrived at work looking like I'd just snogged a gas hob.

Serves you right for going to work on a pedal bike, Rodney.

It's good exercise!

You sound like a right Frank Spencer

bullshit,,,,u pauper

More or less everyday when the postman brings my mail.

Re: Those situations where you think, "god I'm a fucking tit"

Tbf falling off a bike is more tits up than a god I'm a fucking tit mo. For the true god I'm a fucking tit mo you need a bit of guilt or worry at the bottom your stomach.

Re: Those situations where you think, "god I'm a fucking tit"

serves you right for coming from RYTON way

Haha, fucking crease

This has been happening to me all week.

panda and prostitute are doing it the night ends the the panda is confused when the prostitute asks for her money he looks dazed

prostitute says look my name up in the dictionary so the panda does

'PAY WOMAN FOR SEX' is what he gets back still the panda is confused so the prostitute is still awaiting for her £££ Panda replied look my name up in the dictionary so the prositute does

and the dictionary says

EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES

class!

Legend thats quality

Did you end up going home with both of them?

I'd like to think Melt thinks those exact words to himself every time he recovers from one of his screaming face-pressed-to-screen spack attacks after he posts.

I sadly doubt it though

its a daily occurance with me like

The best one was when the scholars used to pull up at 4 lane ends before school, and the driver used to stop and have a tab before taking us.

I had been messing about with my lighter the night before seeing how high I could get the flame, you know where you take off the metal etc etc.

I thought I would be really cool and smoke a tab so all the people on the back of the bus would see how cool I really was.

I put the tab in my mouth

Lit the lighter






















And blew my sad-coke-can-charva--hairsprayed-so-much-it-didnt-move-in-the-wind fringe up. It just went up in a stinking cloud of black smoke in front of the whole bus. My mates did nothing but laugh as I scrambled arounf wildly looking for some kind or hairspray or clip to clip my now odd looking tuft down with.

WHAT A FUCKING TIT IS VERY APT.

What are you going on about Moi?

TODAY, when i decided to stand up on the bus as it went around a round about. i stood on sum rubbish, slipped and wacked ma head on a barand wobbled down the bus as some little yorkshire pig farming charvs laughed it up at my expense lol

I've just missed my flight to London cos I went out last night and 2 alarms and my phone ringing didn't wake me from my drunken slumber. Fucking gutted

nightmare! hope you get it sorted!

Yeah called as soon as I woke up, cancelled the booking and got on the 3pm flight. €120 too, which is a lot better than I was expecting, but still shit.

Just gutted my BH drinking has been set back a few hours really